Which Way Are You Driving?

Forgiveness is a two-way street, designed to bring healing not just to the person who wronged you but to your own heart, mind, and spirit. Many people mistakenly believe that forgiveness is only about releasing the offender, but in reality, it is more for you than it is for them. When you hold onto unforgiveness, you are the one carrying the burden, trapped in resentment, bitterness, and spiritual torment. Jesus made it clear that forgiveness is meant to be a lifestyle, not a one-time act. When Peter asked how many times we should forgive, Jesus responded with “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21-22), a number so high it forces us to lose count. This was not about keeping track but about adopting a heart posture of grace, just as Christ continually forgives us.

Unforgiveness weighs heavily on our spirit, creating mental torment, anxiety, anger, and even physical stress. The enemy thrives in an unforgiving heart, using bitterness to distort our judgment, corrupt our relationships, and distance us from God. But when we choose to forgive, we break free from these chains. Forgiveness is an act of obedience that leads to freedom, it removes the burden from our shoulders and allows God to bring restoration in His way and His time. Letting go doesn’t mean the hurt never happened; it means it no longer controls you. It is through forgiveness that we receive peace, clarity, and the ability to move forward without the weight of the past suffocating our future.

Christ forgives us countless times, without hesitation, every time we come to Him. Imagine if God held grudges the way we do, where would we be? Yet, He wipes the slate clean, calling us to do the same. If we desire to walk in His love, we must also reflect it. Choosing forgiveness is choosing Christ, and in doing so, we align ourselves with His heart, allowing His grace to flow through us and bring healing to not just one relationship, but every aspect of our lives.

Handling Offense: A Biblical Perspective

Offense is inevitable, but how we handle it reveals the condition of our hearts. The Bible commands us to seek reconciliation, yet pride often blinds us from seeing the other person’s willingness to forgive. Many times, we assume the other party is hardened against us when, in reality, they are simply waiting for us to acknowledge our wrongs. Instead of humbling ourselves, we let our ego justify our silence, keeping us locked in unnecessary division. True humility requires us to examine our role in the conflict and take responsibility, just as Jesus instructs us in Matthew 5:23-24 to make amends before offering our worship.

When we harbor unforgiveness, it doesn’t just stay in one area of our lives, it corrupts everything it touches. Bitterness, slander, anger, and judgment begin to take root, making us untrustworthy and unapproachable. Others begin to perceive us as people who abuse grace, quick to receive forgiveness from God but slow to extend it to others. Over time, this hardens our hearts and causes people to distance themselves, not out of malice, but because they see the toxic fruit of unforgiveness in our character. Ephesians 4:31-32 warns us to put away all bitterness, rage, and slander and to be kind and compassionate, forgiving as Christ forgave us.

The Lord’s Prayer itself teaches that forgiveness is non-negotiable in our walk with God. “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). This means our own forgiveness is directly tied to how we forgive others. We cannot expect mercy while withholding it from others. Holding onto offense is not just about the other person, it’s about our own spiritual health. We must remember that forgiveness is not a feeling but an act of obedience, freeing us from the enemy’s grip and allowing us to reflect Christ’s love.

The Perception of Forgiveness by Others

The world promotes a “match energy, get back, take it low-take it lower” mindset, if someone offends you, you give them the same treatment in return. Instead of seeking resolution, society encourages ignoring people, blocking them, or going “no contact” without addressing the offense. This creates a false sense of power but leaves relationships broken and unresolved. Forgiveness is viewed as weakness, and those who extend grace are often labeled as naïve or gullible. But in reality, true strength is found in choosing to forgive, even when it is undeserved. Romans 12:17-18 reminds us not to repay evil for evil but to live at peace with everyone as far as it depends on us.

Walking away without clearing offenses does not bring true peace, it creates a cycle of broken relationships and unhealed wounds. The enemy uses pride to convince us that protecting our egos is more important than reconciliation. This mindset breeds isolation, resentment, and distrust, making it harder to build meaningful connections. The world will tell you that you’re better off cutting people off, but Proverbs 19:11 teaches that it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. We are not called to mirror the world’s hardness but to reflect Christ’s mercy.

Refusing to forgive or seek forgiveness does not just affect one relationship, it affects our character as a whole. It shapes how we respond to others, how we handle future conflicts, and ultimately how we walk with God. The deception of pride makes us feel justified, but it robs us of peace and spiritual growth. The question is, do we value pride more than obedience?

Reflection

Is there someone you need to forgive or someone you need to ask for forgiveness? What’s more important, your pride or your obedience to God? Unresolved offenses hinder your prayers, your growth, and your witness to others. Which road will you travel today, humility and reconciliation or and ego and violation.

What’s the Word?

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." —Matthew 5:23-24

Szn. 2 Ep. 1 | Forgiveness is Required

Abide Meditation App

Heal While You Sleep: Meditate On God’s Unbelievable Power To Forgive & Restore The Prodigal Son

Curse Breakers Assembly